Wednesday, September 19, 2012

So, hey, I was thinking…

You know how "50 Shades of Gray" has been called "suburban mom's porn"?
In this case, we can say that Twilight is "suburban mom's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition", because nothing really happens in it.

I think it should be on SAT's:

562. If 50 Shades of Gray -> suburban mom's porn, then Twilight ->
    a) fanfiction
    b) suburban mom's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition
    c) suburban mom's work of literature
    d) Mormon propaganda

Of course, there is a question of "nip slips", but I think it's safe to say that in current SI SE issues these things have been pretty thoroughly Photoshopped out. Maybe one could find them in the older versions, but these days, if anything, the criticism is in maybe being too much Photoshopping.

Incidentally, whenever these scandalettes (really not large enough for a full scandal) unfold, I'm pretty firmly on the side of the photo-retouchers. Why? Because I've had to retouch photos and know first-hand how hard it can be to stop 'shopping.
There's one photo from my brother's wedding where all I wanted was to remove the shadow on my mom's double chin, and maybe make it a tad less noticeable, and ended up making my mom look younger than the bride. She (my mom) still laughs about it.

It's just hard to draw the line at where to stop retouching once you're deep into the file. And let's face it, whenever the photo is left natural(ish), there's ALWAYS talk about OMGpimples and OMGflab and OMGstrayhair! So, in the effort to prevent dissy talk, some retouchers just get carried away, I think.

My husband laughs at my stance in these cases. He's all, you're such a feminist until it comes to Photoshop. Well, YEAH. Photoshop and OCD win out pretty much every time, no contest.

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