Tuesday, March 25, 2014

The Goddess of Spring and Plumbing

So, this was the outfit I wore to Lowe's today.

Not, like, on purpose or anything. I just happened to wear what my co-workers very generously dubbed my "Spring Goddess" outfit, and at lunch my friend happened to need to go to Lowe's, and I happened to be obsessing over the hook to put on the back of the boys' bathroom door, so it just happened.

When we got there, as a properly helpful spring goddess, I hoisted a huge PVC pipe (that my friend needed to return) on my shoulder and traipsed over to the entrance, tripping a person in the process.
I did not, like some of you may have imagined, hit him comically on the head with the PVC pipe. He just caught the sight of me, which probably looked a bit strange to him, and he tripped. No casualties, though, so that was good.

Next, we agreed that I was going to go obsess over small hardware (heh), and she was going to return her pipe (heh again), and we'd meet up in plumbing (I know, middle school comedy gold!)

I did manage to score some sweet, sweet industrialish-looking double hook in brushed steel for a cool $3-something, and then - because we were on a tight schedule and I didn't want to get lost - I decided to ask for directions.
So I walked up to two Lowe's (dude) workers, and politely said, "Excuse me!"
They went from [very serious conversation expressions] to [ohai little girl, aren't you in the wrong store? expression], which was kind of funny to see. So, I asked them where the plumbing department was. They actually looked very concerned, like they weren't sure I knew what I was saying, so they - very helpfully - asked me what was it I was looking for, probably as a test.
Well, I personally was looking for my friend, but I thought it might be weird if I said I was meeting someone in the plumbing aisle, and I did know that she was looking for some 1/4" copper couplings, so I told them that was what I was looking for.
They actually looked pretty shocked, like a teacher who just realized her stoner student scored a perfect "A" on a test, and looked at each other before muttering, "Huh, yeah, that would be in plumbing." And they pointed the way. And I thanked them and went on my way.

And then I arrived, and my friend wasn't there yet, so I went to look for her and got distracted by paint, and ended up with some plastic pain trays, a new brush (an angled 1/2"! check me out!) and a whole lot of yellow paint chips. Because, um. Shiny. What?

Also, before any outrage has a chance to start (not that I anticipate any), I feel like I should say that I find this very funny, not offensive. Because think about it from those dudes' perspective. Also, I think I might start dressing in frilly skirts EVERY time I go to a home improvement store and troll the crap out of people there. #BurlyGirlyFTW.

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