Monday, July 5, 2010

The Tortures of Summer

This is How We Roll
Originally uploaded by elfinity
Anyway, because it turned out that my son SUCKS at doing research, and these days kids are supposed to be google-masters and research ninjas, I decided to ruin - RUIN I TELL YOU! - his life for the summer by making him do small research papers. Yeah, I'm bad.
The first research was on a super boring subject of -GASP!- Porsche's first car. Yeah, he loves Porsche and any kind of fast sports car, but researching? You've got to be kidding me! It, like, requires thinking! And actually reading! And some more thinking! Who does this during summer break...

This is us working on finding the right keywords to get the best results, because - who knew - typing "what is porsches first car?" into the search window does not get you much. I tried getting him to figure out that maybe adding "history" to the search keywords might get some good results, but he wasn't having it. For the first 20 minutes.
This is how it went:

This is How We Roll

Me: So, you typed "Porche fist car" and got results mostly on Porsche 2011 new one. What do all these have in common?
D, after staring at the screen: They.. aaare.. alllll... aboutPorsches?
Me: Ha-ha. Now, seriously?
D: They are about the past?
Me: Right, so, what should we add to the search?
much whining and lamentation follows. H comes in to check on us, is furiously waved away.
Me: Soooo, what science studies the past?
D: IDONNOOOOOOOO!!!! Do I have to do this?
Me: Come on... What science?
silence, interrupted by tiny whinages.
Me, losing patience: Come on, biology?
D, brightening up: Biology!
Me: Seriously? What does biology study?
much whining and lamentations follow, during which H comes back and tries really hard not to help. Finally, he says, "D, think about the first syllable!"
D: Bio... bio... bio... bio... OH! Biology studies the world!
Me, sarcastically: Then what does geography study?
D, wilting: Oh. I DONNOOOOOOOOOOOO.... doIhaftadooooiiiiit?
Me: Yes.
much lamentation and whining follows, during which D DOES come up with the word "history".
He types that in, get a lot of good results and starts lamenting about having to read each of the articles.
The evening passes in similarly cheery atmosphere.

This is How We Roll

My pose is actually very strategic - you try yelling while laying down. So my pose just actually promotes my patient demeanor and improves my staying power. Highly recommended. Of course, for this to work, you need to have quite an authority over your kid, because they might have trouble taking you seriously when you are laying down. D knows I mean business, though, and that we will stay up till 2 in the morning, if necessary, but will do what we set out to do.

Like I said, I'm bad ^_^


  1. did you guys see the new karate kid movie with jackie chan? there is something very kungfu about this post.

  2. ha-ha ^_^ I'll take that as a compliment. Yes, we did see it, and probably you're right, because I am constantly going, "Patience, young padawan" or "Patience, young grasshopper", depending on my mood.

  3. Yup "ruin" is probably the right word

    Bad mom
    Bad mom