"Stop Kissing Your Toothbrush" or Things Only a Parent Would Say

I've never thought I'd say things like "If you don't stop this attitude right now, we are SO not going to hunt the crocodiles!" or "If you fall off and kill yourself, don't come crying to me," until I became a parent.

But of course.

Actually, I wouldn' t have to say most of the bizarro things I have said if my son did not do most of the bizarre things he's done. That thing about kissing his toothbrush? What else could I have said if he really was kissing it? With a full intent of marrying it afterwards. Why? Who can know...

Today, I realized that only a parent could say "Sweet dreams!" in a threatening tone of voice. Well, maybe a member of the mafia would use the same tone of voice, but probably not while putting a child to sleep.